Just a few hours old, showing hunger cues, ready to nurse some more.
Pregnant women are bombarded with one clear
message about feeding their baby: Breastfeeding is the way to go. The
known
risks of formula feeding are
many and continue to grow in number. So, it’s really no surprise that most pregnant mothers plan to breastfeed their
baby. While many of those mothers attempt to breastfeed, very few babies
are getting
any breastmilk by the time they are 6 months old (
in Mississippi, just 10.5%). What happens? Why are mothers who want to
breastfeed not able to keep it up?
I admit it, I would like for all children to be
blissfully breastfed for at least two years. And, I would like this to
happen in a world full of rainbows, kittens, and lollipops.
Since that is
highly unlikely, let me share what I would really
love to see: I want moms to
breastfeed as long as
they would like to. Let me just say that one
more time. I want you to breastfeed your baby as long as you want
to. I do not want moms to feel like they somehow failed, wonder
what they “should” have done differently, or to suffer heartache over the end
of breastfeeding. Empowerment is a running theme for us at
better beginnings and
breastfeeding shall be no different. I want the decision to breastfeed
AND the decision to wean to both be just that,
decisions. As a mom
who has decided to breastfeed, does that sound like a worthwhile goal?
That you will breastfeed until you actively decide that you no longer want
to.
If you are pregnant, you have undoubtedly had
friends tell you why they were unable to breastfeed. She was not able to make
enough milk, her baby was crying for more, her baby started teething, she needed
medication, her baby was sick, her baby was a preemie, she had to go back to
work. We are saying goodbye to all those reasons (and many more) moms
feel like they “have to” quit. We are letting that go right here and now.
Instead, we are creating a plan that puts all the decisions in your
hands. As the mother of your sweet bundle of love, you will decide if you
will breastfeed and when you will wean.
I am going to assume if you are still reading,
you are pregnant and want to breastfeed your child for a few weeks or
longer. In case you haven’t figured it out, there is a whole heck of a
lot of information about breastfeeding out there, some good and some not so
good. In terms of scientific understanding and advice, we have learned a
lot in recent years, and what your mother was taught about breastfeeding isn’t
necessarily best. (
Breastfeeding was at a low point in the 70s) I’m going to give you the 3 steps that will help you to make that good start
less elusive and more realistic:
STEP 1: Prepare During Pregnancy
When your child is older, you will probably put
a great deal of effort into developing a plan to provide a great education,
develop his spirituality, provide good nutrition and fitness, or instill
values. Right now, you have just one thing that fills all his needs:
breastfeeding. For the first days/weeks/months of life, Breastfeeding is
Mothering. It is important enough to prepare ahead of time.
- Find
a great breastfeeding book and mark pages for future reference when baby
arrives. Take the book with you to your baby’s birth place. You don’t need to
read the entire book, but read the parts about the early days and skim the
rest. There is no need to memorize the best options for dealing with every
possible road block that you may or may not encounter. better beginnings clients have access to our library
of books. Take a look at our favorites, and then buy the one that works best
for you. My personal favorite is The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, 8thEdition. Love it!!
- Take
a breastfeeding class at your birth place. Most hospitals offer a free
breastfeeding class. We’ve heard mixed reviews, but you will no doubt learn
something in the class. Maybe more importantly, you will gain insight
into what resources your birth place offers. Do they have a board
certified lactation consultant on staff (IBCLC)? Can you call or visit
someone for help after discharge? Take a look at this CDC document to
learn more about what a hospital can do to support breastfeeding.
- Attend
a breastfeeding support meeting. On the Mississippi coast, we have 2 La
Leche League groups that meet monthly. Find them
and attend a meeting. La Leche League Leaders
are trained volunteers who want to help breastfeeding mothers. By
attending a meeting while pregnant, you will meet the Leaders and may feel more
comfortable calling if and when you do need help.
- Build
your support network, literally. Don’t just make a mental note of
breastfeeding resources; make an actual written list (perhaps in the cover of
your beloved breastfeeding book). This may seem silly now, but those first
weeks can be pretty hazy. Having a
written list that you or your support person can locate easily is important.
Include the names and contact info of good friends or family who were
successful at breastfeeding (hopefully for at least a year), hospital lactation
consultants, La Leche League Leaders, Breastfeeding Helpline (877.452.5324),
your doula, your childbirth educator, WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor,
Mississippi Breastfeeding Medicine Clinic
(check out their awesome “Notes” section of facebook) and anyone else who would
provide you with excellent support and encouragement.
STEP 2: When In Doubt, Ask For Help
Let’s imagine for a moment that we live in that
utopia I mentioned earlier. All babies would be breastfed, mothers would work
side by side and care for each other, the sun would be shining, and the little
dew drops would reflect tiny rainbows everywhere you look. You would have
seen countless babies breastfed. You wouldn’t even have to think about how to
hold the baby, how often to offer your breast, how to assess that she is
getting enough milk or what to do when it hurts. You would have seen all
of this first hand your entire life. Breastfeeding would come natural to you.
Well….ummm….let’s get back to modern day
Mississippi. You may have never seen a baby breastfed, but you have seen
countless babies bottlefed and probably even fed a baby yourself. In our
culture, bottle feeding is more likely to “come naturally.” The good news
is you have a network of women that care about you, care about your baby, and want
to help you breastfeed (remember, your wrote them down in Step 1).
Since you don’t live in a tight knit community with these women, they won’t
know when you need help. You
have to ask for help when you need it.
When do you need help? I can’t (and
certainly don’t want to) list all the possible indications of a breastfeeding
problem that needs help. Instead, I will suggest you pay attention to yourself
and your baby. Use your fantastic breastfeeding book so you know what is
normal. (Step 1), and when in doubt ask for help. Even if you can’t describe a
problem, but you feel unsure, overwhelmed or concerned, you can ask for help. As
a person who helps breastfeeding mothers myself, I have never once thought that
a mother didn’t need to call me. If she called, then she needed to.
I have thought on many occasions, when a mother has shared with me how sad she felt when
she “had to stop breastfeeding” because of X, Y or Z, “I wish she had called
me.”
STEP 3: Relax
Assume that breastfeeding will go well, but be
prepared to act (by asking for help) if problems arise on the first day or many
months later. The vast majority of women can make enough milk
to nourish her children. The vast majority of babies are able to
breastfeed successfully. So, relax.
Full term, healthy babies are born with enough
fat to sustain them for a few days. Your body produces highly
concentrated colostrum for the first few days. After a few days, you and
your baby are more coordinated and able to latch on for longer periods, just as
your milk changes to adapt to your babies unique needs. This is a
winning combination. Both of you are designed to have a few days to
“figure things out.” So, Relax.
Nurse your baby whenever he likes, for as long
as he likes. For the healthy nursing pair, mom’s milk making capacity is
being calibrated (particularly in the first few days and weeks) to make the
amount of milk her baby needs. That system works when your baby is able
to “send the message” by nursing whenever he likes, for as long as he wants.
So, relax.
Babies nurse better when you are relaxed.
Literally, get in a laid back position where your body can relax and put your
baby skin-to-skin, tummy-to-tummy so he can relax.
Here is a website with
photos and a video of relaxed breastfeeding moms.
If breastfeeding isn’t working, remember the
“3 Keeps.” By doing these 3 simple things, you will be taking care of
yourself, take care of your baby, and keep the system working so that your will
be able to breastfeed when your baby is ready. So, relax.
Breastfeeding mothers have a range of
experiences. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it
starts off difficult and gets easier. Sometimes it starts off easy, but
gets more difficult. Some moms don’t like breastfeeding all that much and
some just love it. Some have lots of support, some feel alone. Some
challenges can be worked through and some cannot (no matter how much help your
get).
Whatever happens, it is the unique story of you
and your baby, a relationship that exists just between the two of you.
You are the mother of your child and you make the decisions that are best for
you and your family.
- Bianca Wooden
