Women love telling you about their births, especially if you are
pregnant. None of us will make the exact
same decisions, just as we will labor differently, and mother our children
differently.
The wisdom of experience and hindsight are pretty incredible. Do you know what the mamas around you have to
say? You might be surprised what a
simple, casual question brings out.
There are wise women all around you.
Here’s what a few I know had to say in response to this question:
What is the one thing you wish you'd known before having your baby? What
is the one factor that most influenced the path you took?
· * Before having baby #1
- I wish I'd known I was actually in charge of the decision making. What influenced
the other birth (5) experiences - knowing that I was in charge of making
decisions.
*
* I wish I'd know that
I didn't have to go to the hospital the same day that I started leaking
fluid...I knew we didn't have to go immediately (no fever, fluid was clear,
nothing in rule, baby moving), but I still majorly increased my risks going to
the hospital too early.
·
* I wish I had known
more about my "high risk" status and what exactly ruled me out of a
VBAC. I researched...but military docs aren't exactly forthcoming about the
info. If I had honestly known where the best info was, I might have done a home
birth with my 2nd.
·
* How little support
you actually get from nurses and doctors...even the good ones just aren't there
to hold your hand like you might need/want.
·
* How long it takes to
feel normal again.
·
*The difference
between using my OB/GYN (first two pregnancies) vs. my midwife (last
pregnancy). Felt valued more with my
mid-wife and less stressed (course having a 3rd baby - you already feel like
you've been there done that after two babies so that might play into the lower
stress experienced). I felt more like a
cow being herded in and out with my OB/GYN. Only thing missing was a bell around my neck. My midwife took time to really listen, devoted
an hour to each appointment and made sure my labor was as even/balanced (for
lack of a better word) than like an appointment.
·
* I, too, wish I’d been
in charge of the decision-making for the 1st time around...2nd time around, the
factor that most influenced my experience (for the better!) was the decision to
have "people", ie: support people (you!) we knew would be there to
help us through the process. It took so much of the stress out of the situation
knowing I had experienced women available as a network of support before,
during, after. Support team = awesomeness :)
·
I * wish 1st time
around I'd known about the euphoria and sense of empowerment and achievement
that hits you like a train the instant you push that baby out of your body! I
honestly feel this got me through my labour and birth of my second child with
much more ease knowing what was to come. It's truly amazing what a woman's body
is capable of if we just listen to what we feel we need to do..... I was so
glad that my first birth was midwife led in the UK, as that gave me the
confidence to go for a completely natural birth here in the USA with my second
child.
·
*Not going straight to
the hospital when you start leaking and how awful induction is. I had not planned for induction and didn't
realize how much harder it is.
·
* That due dates are
crap and inductions are very, very rarely a good idea. Oh and that the throw
away underwear that come with the enormous pads at the hospital really are
fabulous and you should steal a lot before you leave if you hospital birth!
Home birthers-ask your midwives to find you some!! The number one factor that
affected my experience was care provider. Didn't research cesarean rates on him
etc and guess who had a cesarean?...
·
*
My three boys'
natural births took place in hospitals (Univ. Hosp. Bonn and Asuncion) and, all
tardy by almost 2 wks, were just fine and like I wanted them to be…maybe I was
lucky but I actually like hospitals and doctors (Daddy's girl :-). In the
private Latin American hospital a funny thing was that in 1995 the nurses asked
me whether all women in Germany have babies "peasant style" (ie
natural, no appointment for cesarean and topped by breast feeding..) Phases and
fashions, a lot of it, plus economics...
·
*That you need the
giant pads after delivery! My poor husband had the pharmacist at Walgreens
trying to help him get what I needed. He was totally clueless and stressed.
·
*My third was born at
home in the quiet (except for me) and being mobile and changing positions
really helped! I wish I had known all the things that go on "behind the
scenes" when you give birth at a hospital with the first two.
·
*
There is a pain threshold and you can go over
it and medicine will not control it. Induction is not any fun- and you should
just wait and not be induced no matter how impatient you are! My husband had to wait a long time while the
doctors and nurses prepared me for the c section and he said that he got very
nervous because it took a long time- and they started the surgery without him
until I started screaming .
·
*I wish I'd know
that I could've said no to a 3 week early induction, or at least asked her to
wait until after I'd had a large meal so I would have the energy for L&D.
·
I *In the end, I was
satisfied with how things happened but would probably not choose induction if
the exact scenario played out. My AFI was a 2 and my husband and I were
frightened, which is why I opted to induce, but she was strong and my body
responded so well with minimal drugs that I feel very confident that I would
have gone into labor on my own at any moment of I had just waited. That is
probably my biggest lesson from this and hopefully a sentiment you can share.
What do you wish you would have know? Please add yours in the comments below.
