I’m sitting in the cool sunshine watching my daughter revel in a rain-filled wheelbarrow. Said wheelbarrow was previously filled with leaves, gravel, and sandy dirt. Add in meticulously plucked pansies, and you have the perfect recipe for an outdoor adventure. “Flowers need water, Mama,” she says. Why now seems the time to sit and write, I haven’t the faintest idea. That’s my life with kids—messy, imaginative, and filled with unlikely inspiration.
Bianca and I often talk about blogging—we need to start, there are so many things to say, etc…. We call our joint childbirth education business “Better Beginnings.” Why? What exactly is a better beginning? Why will independent childbirth classes help you have a better beginning? Why do you need a better beginning?
Hmm, where’s the thought to connect those two ideas—backyard mess and birth classes? Let me be bold—the typical birth class is like sticking a flower into cold, dirty water and assuming all it needs is water and sunshine to grow. The ingredients look right on paper, but they just don’t add up to the desired outcome.
An expecting mother’s confidence must be carefully cultivated and nurtured in order to thrive. Her hopes, support, and fears are important. Her body image, expectations, and ways of handling everyday life are important. There is just not a one-size-fits-all “method,” birth plan, or childbirth class that meets this whole woman’s needs.
A better beginning is an empowered woman in the full birth-bloom of impending motherhood. She strives to gain the support and information necessary to make the best decisions for her family. She is an individual, so she deserves to be treated respectfully. In this way, Bianca and I are unlikely gardeners, carefully tending our flowers to keep them free from easily remedied crises—weeds, bugs, drought, or the careless passerby who stomps on a new bud.
Can we promise you the perfect birth you’ve been dreaming about for months? No, of course not. Predicting what will happen in the moments around birth is like trying to predict the weather. We can give you up-to-date, evidence-based information. Prenatally, this will eliminate fear and misconceptions. In labor, it will give you the power of informed decision making. Being an active participant when it comes to decisions about your care and your baby’s care is deeply satisfying. It is the culmination of all of your preparation, whether you have the birth of your dreams or a true emergency arises.
Though she and I each have two children, the choices we made each time were unique to us. Similar key ingredients influenced our decision making, but the actual choices reflected our situation, support, and knowledge at the time. As parents, we are always growing and learning. We hope that our passion and commitment to continued education and knowledge-seeking is ever reflected in the moments we share with you. It is an honor to serve a woman on her journey to motherhood.
- Kate Fillingim, LCCE
